Give Microsoft a chance
Customer: ‘I’m having trouble installing
Microsoft Word.’
Tech Support: ‘Tell me what You’ve done.’
Customer: ‘I typed A:SETUP.’
Tech Support: ‘Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.’
Customer: ‘It says [PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.
Tech Support: ‘Insert the MS Word setup disk.’ Customer: ‘What?’
Tech Support: ‘Did you buy Microsoft Word?’
Customer: ‘No…’
Change of Mind
Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don’t want my wife to think that it’s me.’
Advisor: ‘I will remove them for you.’
Customer: ‘How do I get them back when she is not in?’
Dial Tone
Tech Support: ‘Thank you for calling. May I have your phone number beginning with the area code first, please?’
There was a pregnant pause, then a series of touch tones.
Tech Support: ‘Hello? I need your phone number, please. More touch tones.
Tech Support: ‘Hi, can you hear me?’
Customer: ‘Yes.’
Tech Support: ‘Great, then can you please tell me your phone number so I can pull up your file?’
More touch tones.
Tech Support: ‘Sir, what’s your name?’
Customer: Malcolm
Tech Support: ‘Great, now can you tell me your phone number?’ Touch tones again.
Tech Support: ‘Please, tell me your phone number.’
Customer: ‘Again?’
Tech Support: ‘Yes sir, if you don’t mind, but can you please just tell me verbally?’
Touch tones yet again.
Tech Support: ‘Sir, contrary to popular opinion, support is not half machine. I’ll need you to verbally tell me your phone number with your mouth so I can bring up your account info, got it?’
Customer: ‘You people are rude as well as incompetent.’
First Email
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
