Here is Will and Guy’s collection of humor for events in and around the 1st of May.
May Day Customs
As a worldwide day of celebration, the first of May probably ranks second only to New Year’s Day. Whereas everyone celebrates the New Year, albeit in different ways, May Day has many different customs depending on where in the world you live:
- May Day – The first day of summer
- Beltane – Cross quarter day. Halfway between the Vernal Equinox and Mid-Summer solstice
- Maypole dances in England
- Walpurgis Night (Germany and Scandinavia). – Bonfires and devil worship Hitler chose this night to commit suicide in 1945
- Labor Day – China and Russia hold formal parades
(N.B. Labor Day in the USA is on the first Monday in September)
While May Day is now considered to be 1st May (or May 1st), Beltane or Walpurgis starts on the last evening of April and ends on 1st May. There is evidence that in ancient times pagan celebrations occurred on the nearest full moon rather than the 1st of May. One thought that flashes through my mind is all the different drinks that people worldwide will use to toast May Day, for example, beer in Bavaria (Germany), Sima in Savonlinna (Finland), cider in Cornwall, and mead in Merthyr (Wales).
May Day Jokes
Right Turn?
Two yokels were driving to the next village’s May Day Fair. They came to a sign that said: May Day Fair Left. … so they turned around and went home!
How to get to the fair
A townie was looking for the May Day Fair, he stopped and asked Jethro. ‘Will this road take me to the May Day Fair?’
‘Oh no,’ said Jethro. ‘You’ll have to go by yourself!’
Fell off the back of a lorry – Guy’s favorite May Day Joke
Freddie was looking at the animals section at the May Fair when a dirty, scruffy man came running in the opposite direction. He stopped and asked Freddie, ‘Have you seen a cartload of pigs go this way?’
‘No’, said Freddie, ‘Why did you fall off?’
A Balloon Ride to Nowhere
Norman decides to take a balloon ride on offer at the local May Day Fair. The balloon and its customers drift along in the breeze, but eventually, they are lost. Norman has no idea where he is, so when the gondolier takes the basket down to ten feet above ground he calls to a passer-by: ‘Excuse me, sir, can you tell me where I am?’
After looking Norman up and down, the passer-by says: ‘You are in a red balloon, ten feet above the ground.’ The balloon’s unhappy resident replied, ‘You must be a lawyer’
‘How could you possibly know that?’ asked the passer-by. ‘Because your answer is technically correct but absolutely useless, and the fact is I am still lost’.
‘Then you must be in management’, said the passer-by. ‘That’s right! How did you know?’ ‘You have such a good view from where you are, and yet you don’t know where you are and you don’t know where you are going. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now your problem is somehow my fault!’
Funny Jokes For May Day
Morris Dancers
A bus full of blind people on a May day outing stops at “The White Swan” pub near Dorchester, Dorset, England. The coach driver asks if some of the lads can have a game of football in the car park out the back.
‘How can they do that?’ asks Rory, the landlord. ‘Seeing as they are blind and all.’
‘Well, it’s quite easy,’ says Alex, the driver. ‘They have a special ball with bells in so they can hear it.’
Nothing much happens for fifteen minutes or so when all of a sudden all hell breaks loose. Police cars, ambulances, fire engines, the lot! The policeman rushes into the public bar.
‘What on earth is going on?’ asks Alex, the coach driver.
‘We have had a report of a bunch of louts kicking a Morris dancer’s head around the car park.’
Move May Day Holiday?
With a little luck, it’ll be too cold for Morris dancers!
The Solent Coastguard
‘Mayday, Mayday, Mayday this is yacht Corporate Engineering Solutions, Corporate Engineering Solutions, Corporate Engineering Solutions. Over.’
‘Mayday this is Solent Coastguard. Can you give me your position sir? Over.’
‘Solent Coastguard this is yacht Corporate Engineering Solutions. I’m a director in a small engineering company. Over.’
May Day Poem
Round the maypole – round and round
Men and maids and children bound
Show’ring as they halt between
Honours on their May Day Queen.
A May Day Carol
Awake, awake, my pretty prithy maid,
Come out of your drowsy dream,
And step into your dairy hold,
And fetch me a bowl of cream
If not a bowl of cream, my dear,
A cup of meade to cheer,
For the Lord and Lady know we shall meet again,
To go Maying another year.
A branch of May I brought you here,
While at your keep I stand,
‘Tis but a sprout all budded out,
By the power of our Lady’s hand.
My song is done and I must be gone,
No longer may I stay,
God bless you all, the great and small,
And send you a joyous May.
