Christmas Stories - Funny Jokes

Not surprisingly, there are many Christmas stories that focus on angels.

An Angel Comes Down to Earth

An eye-witness account from New York City, on a cold day in December, some years ago. A little boy, about 10 years old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering With cold. A lady approached the young boy and said, ‘My, but you’re in such deep thought staring in that window!’

‘I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,’ was the boy’s reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks … Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, ‘No doubt, you will be more comfortable now.’

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her.

‘Are you God’s wife?’

Footnote: This is one of the angel Christmas stories kindly sent in by Beryl Wilson

Christmas Stories on Dogs

The next part of our Christmas stories is about dogs.

A Christmas Dog Story

Tonight’s my first night as a watchdog and here it is Christmas Eve The children are sleeping all cosy upstairs, While I’m guarding the stockings and tree.

What’s that now? Footsteps on the rooftop? Could it be a cat or mouse? Who’s this down the chimney? A thief with a beard and a big sack for robbing the house?

I’m barking, I’m growling, I’m biting his rear. He howls and jumps back in his sleigh. I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air. I’ve frightened the whole bunch away!

Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again. The stockings are safe as can be. Won’t the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow and see how I’ve guarded the tree?

Written by Shel Silverstein

A True Christmas Dog Story

Let’s continue telling Christmas stories about dogs. Home alone one Christmas, a Maine woman was in the doghouse when she called the “Butterball Turkey Talk-Line”.

Found by Will and Guy, while preparing the turkey, her Chihuahua jumped into the bird’s body cavity and couldn’t get out. She tried pulling the dog and shaking the bird, but nothing worked. She and the dog became more and more distraught.

After calming the woman down, the Talk-Line home economist suggested carefully cutting the opening in the cavity of the turkey wider.

It worked and Maxwell was free. Too silly to make up say Will and Guy.

Christmas Presents for Your Dog

The following dog picture, like many other Christmas stories, doesn’t need a definition.

Poor Pole in the Dog House After Christmas

After Christmas stories are no less amusing than those that happen on Christmas day.

Zdzislaw Bukarowcz, a seventy-five-year-old Polish man from Scinawa, lived in a dog’s kennel for three weeks just after Christmas. It was all the work of his zona*, Mrs Bukarowcz, her reason for dishing out this punishment was because Zdzislaw repeatedly came home drunk.

She chained him to the kennel and fed him dog food; Zdzislaw was given water from a dog bowl. At night the temperatures often dropped to minus 20 degrees Celsius.

Pani Bukarowcz told reporters that she was sick of him wasting all their money on vodka. His drinking companions, worried by his non-attendance in the pub, eventually freed him from his imprisonment in the dog house and called the police.

* Zona is Polish for wife. Pani means Mrs in Polish. (We don’t know the Polish for ‘Dog house’)

Calendar Dogs

After Calendar Girls, we now have funny pictures of calendar dogs that are related to our Christmas stories. Dan and Alejandra Boris have used computer graphics to create a Yoga Dogs Calendar.

At first, Guy thought that Yoga Dogs were a new breed, while Will thought this was a wacky new piece of merchandise designed for kennels. The truth is this is a Christmas present for dog owners.

Alejandra, who is a yoga teacher, reassures readers that no dogs were hurt in making the calendars, the funny but unnatural positions were down to computer manipulation of genuine picture

The Tale of the Traditional Christmas Pudding

Martha decided to move with the times and try the delights of microwave cooking. Whereupon, her devoted husband Archie went out and bought her a brand new top-of-the-range Sharp Microwave oven.

Christmas approached and Martha got out her Christmas pudding recipe and assembled the ingredients. She proceeded along traditional lines and even got each member of the family to stir the mixture ‘for luck’. When Martha consulted the microwave’s manual for the cooking time, she could not believe that ten minutes would be enough for a traditional Christmas pudding. Consequently, she decided to substitute her normal
cooking time of 50 minutes.

As Martha was in the lounge watching her favorite TV program she did not see the pudding spitting in the microwave oven, nor did she hear the mini-explosions. When she finally extracted the pudding from the microwave after nearly an hour of cooking on ‘High’, it smelt of burnt sugar and looked like a ball of tar. Naturally, the Christmas pudding was a disaster, so much so, that Martha could not even prod it with a fork. The black ball stuck to the bottom of the bowl and Archie had to get a screwdriver to prize it from its base.

In a fit of pique, Martha threw the shriveled Christmas pudding to Togo her St Bernard puppy.
After a few days, she could see the funny side, and Togo loved his new indestructible toy, which amused him until the next Christmas. Not surprisngly, this became one of Martha’s favorite Christmas stories.

That’s the final, but one of the best Christmas stories we’ve found about dogs.

Christmas Stories on Cats

After discussing dog-related Christmas stories, let’s focus on cats. Below, you’ll find some of the most amusing Christmas stories about cats.

Unusual, Funny, Interesting, and Moving Christmas Stories About Cats

Whenever I see a cat I cannot help thinking there is a tiger in a toy’s body. It constantly amazes me the scrapes that these felines get themselves into – and then out of.

This was one of the real Christmas stories about cats. Let’s continue with another real story before we move on to fictional Christmas stories.

Faith the Brave Cat

A stray cat wandered into St Augustine’s and St Faith’s Church in London in 1936. She was named Faith and adopted by the rector and parishioners. She would sit at the pulpit while Father Henry Ross preached.

In 1940, Faith gave birth to a single kitten named Panda. On September 6th, Faith demanded access to the church basement. When a door was opened for her, she carried her kitten down to the dark cellar. Father Ross retrieved the kitten twice, but Faith carried him back downstairs – twice. She even missed a church service, which was unusual.

The next day, air raids began in the Battle of London, and by the 9th, 400 people had been killed and eight churches were destroyed by bombs.

Father Ross returned to the church to find it ruined. He called for Faith and heard faint meowing in return. He retrieved both Faith and Panda from the rubble just before the roof collapsed.

Faith was nominated for a *Dinkin Medal, for which she was not eligible as a civilian, but she was awarded a special medal for bravery anyway. Faith was presented with the medal in a special ceremony in 1945 attended by the Archbishop of Canterbury.

When Faith died peacefully at the age of 14, the church was again packed for her funeral.

The Dickin Medal was instituted in 1943 in the United Kingdom by Maria Dickin to honor the work of animals in war. It is a bronze medallion, bearing the words “For Gallantry” and “We Also Serve” within a laurel wreath, carried on a ribbon of striped green, dark brown, and pale blue.

While these cat Christmas stories are suitable for Christmas, they are also interesting to read at other times of the year.

Tama Saves the Day

Tama, a nine-year-old calico, is credited with saving the Wakayama Electric Railway Company of Japan from financial ruin.

Wakayama was losing money and laying off employees.

Tama, who was born to a stray at the Kinokawa station, remained at her post (not that she had anywhere else to go).

In January of 2007, she was named Stationmaster and the resulting publicity boosted ridership tremendously, saving Wakayama from bankruptcy.

She is now the fifth-highest-ranking officer in the company. Tama even has her uniform and office. And that’s one of the best Christmas stories about how a cat saved the day.

Scarlett Saves Her Kittens

The next one on our list of Christmas stories about cats is no less fascinating.

In 1996, a fire broke out in a suspected crack house in Brooklyn.

A cat later named Scarlett was observed carrying her kittens out of the building one by one. She was severely burned, and blinded by blisters. She touched each kitten with her nose to make sure they were all safe from the fire and then collapsed.

Firefighter David Giannelli took the cat and kittens to the North Shore Animal League clinic. The League received 7,000 applications to adopt Scarlett and her kittens.

Three families were selected, and Scarlett made a full recovery.

Scarlett’s story was made into a book, Scarlett Saves Her Family, and a children’s book, The Bravest Cat. The North Shore Animal League created an honor in her name, the Scarlett Award, for animal heroism.

Christmas Stories Around the World

Here is Will and Guy’s collection of Christmas stories, reports, gossip and rumour all with a festive theme.

Secret Santa

We often hear Christmas stories of real Santas. But this is a mystery of ‘real-life Santa’ who gave away £50 notes.

Will and Guy have discovered that real-life Father Christmas has left shoppers in a Devon village bewildered after he secretly handed out £50 notes in a local supermarket last year.

The generous man, who has not been identified, secretly slotted the cash-filled envelopes into customers’ shopping baskets, complete with letters wishing them a Merry Christmas before swiftly disappearing.

It is understood that at least 12 people, including a retired couple, were the lucky targets of the Good Samaritan in the days leading up to Christmas. All this excitement happened outside the Tesco Supermarket in Sampford Peverell, Devon, England.

The money was in envelopes which contained also the note which is shown above.

One lady, who is in her seventies, delightedly added, ‘We are hugely grateful to this man for such a lovely gift, it’s not just about the money. This is one of the Christmas stories that just made us feel that there are people out there who are genuinely good and selfless, and realize there is more to life than money.’

Will and Guy couldn’t agree more – the true spirit of Christmas.

The picture below is indeed one of the most intriguing Christmas stories.

Hilarious and Amusing Christmas Stories from Around the World

From this section, we’ll continue with Christmas stories from different corners of the globe.

Christmas Dinner Pot Noodle Launched

Will and Guy will not be eating this type of food for their Christmas lunch on the 25th of December. We find it hard to believe that this product does exist – but here it is.

We appreciate that many people will be cutting back this Christmas because of the economic climate but perhaps the Pot Noeldle is going a step too far. It claims that it’s a special version of the student favorite and at £1.10 [$1.77] it will fit most budgets.

Manufacturer, Unilever said it is a “fusion of turkey and stuffing with all the trimmings”.

Two pence from each sale will go to buy ‘phone time for British troops stationed abroad. Troops taste-tested the new recipe of their favored home comfort snack. Squadron Leader Stuart Balfour [Royal Air Force] told us, ‘It will help keep them in touch with loved ones at a really important time of the year.’ For this reason alone Will and Guy applaud the idea and decided to include it among their Christmas stories.

Magnificent Light Show in Pennsylvania

Even with 21,240 lights, Wayne Allen does not consider his Christmas display all that big or extraordinary. ‘I don’t have animations or blow molds, there isn’t any music playing. I don’t have a nativity in the yard or a Santa on the roof.’ Allen says. ‘It is just lights. That’s all.’ But apparently, Will and Guy have learned those 21,240 lights are causing big trouble.

The Northern Pennsylvania man has been decorating his home each Christmas season with thousands of brilliant multi-colored lights since the early 1970s.

For years people from the surrounding area have driven past the Allen home to look at the lights. Over the years the number of people driving by has numbered into the hundreds on some nights during the season and all that traffic has local police upset with Allen. Isn’t it one of the most fascinating Christmas stories?

Christmas Lights Cost Money

According to Christmas stories from a comparison website, more than half of UK families will be installing outdoor Christmas lights this festive season, many of these for the first time. The survey also discovered that the average household expects to spend around £236 [$370] on decorations for the outside of their house.

Despite all of this festive cheer, outdoor decorations do not always go to plan Will and Guy have discovered For example: 6% of those questioned said that putting up Christmas lights had caused problems with their electrics, while 5% had an accident while they were either putting their lights up or taking them down. 85% admitted that they had no idea how much their Christmas lights were likely to cost them in terms of the extra electricity used. “Gocompare” estimated that lights that were switched on for 6 hours each day over the Christmas period would use an extra 22 days’ worth of electricity.

The comparison site is urging homeowners to check their energy deals before they switch on their lights to get the best deals available. In addition, homeowners should take extra care when putting up their lights and get an electrician in if they are at all unsure about what to do.

Particular care should be taken if you are erecting the light show seen below in Pennsylvania, USA.

French Parents Seek Ban on Father Christmas Advert

French parents have sought to ban a television commercial in which a father tells his adult son that Father Christmas does not exist, claiming it has traumatized their children Will and Guy have discovered. The 20-second clip was aired last week during a commercial break on TF1, which was broadcasting the family film, “Ratatouille”.

‘Son, I’ve got some bad news for you,’ says the father in the advert for Crédit Mutuel, a high street bank. ‘Father Christmas doesn’t exist,’ he says, making a parallel with financial advisers whose prime motivation for selling products, he claims, is their commission. The commercial sparked outrage among parents who are calling on the advertising watchdog to ban the clip. Interesting to see how such Christmas stories unfold.

An Amusing and True Funny Story At Christmas

This one is among real Christmas stories that can make you smile.

A seven-year-old boy was stopped by police in northern Germany while trying to plow snow with a front loader he borrowed from his parents’ business, authorities have told Will and Guy. Officers on patrol found the boy atop the 3.5-meter-tall [11.5-foot-tall] excavator after he had cleared the street in the town of Reinfeld and was driving back to the parking lot. The child noticed the police car behind him and stopped immediately.

‘He opened the door, got out, and admitted immediately that he did not have a driving license,’ the police report said. When asked why he had begun plowing, he said his father had complained about the state of the roads. He saw the key in the ignition of the vehicle and set off.

Police retrieved the key to the loader from the child and returned it, and the boy, to his mother.

Fun Trivia Gleaned from Local UK Newspapers

After hearing some of the best Christmas stories from the world, let’s focus on fun trivia that reflects Christmas stories from UK newspapers:

The song “White Christmas” holds the credit as the most-selling Christmas single of all time.
Santa Claus has nine reindeer counting Rudolph that pull his sleigh.
Saturnalia was the Roman holiday that was celebrated in December.
It wasn’t until about 200 years after Christ’s death that Christians started celebrating his birth.
In northern Europe, there was a holiday known as Yule. People celebrated this holiday by making great fires. They then would dance around the fires, yelling for the winter to end.
Austria was the first country to issue a Christmas postage stamp.
Silver and gold are the popular Christmas colors after red and green.
Eggnog, the popular Christmas drink, was an American discovery.
The Christmas carol, ‘I Saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus’ was made famous by Jimmy Boyd when he was just 12 years old.
Christmas lights were invented by the American Ralph E. Morris.
W. C. T. Dobson invented the Christmas card.
Canada is the largest exporter of Christmas trees.
King’s Canyon National Park, California, USA, has the world’s largest Christmas tree.
Coca-Cola made the concept of Santa Claus popular in America.
There are twelve days between Christmas and the Epiphany.

Again, we’re returning to Will and Guy’s Christmas stories and tales.

Short Christmas Stories

Here is Will and Guy’s collection of short Christmas Stories.

Will and Guy’s Christmas Stories

The Christmas stories, written below, have been researched on the internet. They do not appear to be restricted by copyright so we are delighted to be able to share them with you. They have been adapted and rewritten. The tales are suitable for all ages and are parables or ‘Christmas stories with meaning.’ We hope you enjoy them.

If you are the writer of one of the Christmas stories, please let us know and we can give you credit for your story, or remove it if you would prefer.

The Christmas Tree: A Happy Tale for Christmastide for Young Children

Christmas stories about Christmas trees are usually associated with happiness. The same applies to this one:

One Christmas Eve the trees in a wood were very unhappy. They wished very much to keep Christmas, but they did not know how to do so.

‘We look so brown,’ complained one. ‘And so bare,’ added another.

‘If we only had our pretty green summer dresses,’ contributed a third, ‘then we should be decorated and could keep Christmas.’

‘Hush, children, hush,’ whispered North Wind in quite a gentle voice for such a rough fellow. ‘Make haste and go to sleep.’

‘Hush, children, hush,’ softly murmured a sleepy little bird. He was roosting on one of the branches of the unhappy trees.

So the trees dropped off to sleep, one by one, while a little star twinkled peacefully overhead.

While they slept something happened. When the trees awoke they found that someone, perhaps North Wind, had, during the night, cast over each of them a lovely soft cloak of spotless feathery white.

‘How beautiful we are,’ said the trees. ‘Now we can keep our Christmas.’

Angels on the Christmas Tree

Christmas stories tell that a fairy at the top of the Christmas tree was originally a little figure of the baby Jesus. In late seventeenth-century Germany, this became a shining angel. In Victorian Britain, little girls would take the angel down after Christmas and dress him in dolls’ clothes. Eventually, the angel turned into a thoroughly female fairy, complete with a wand. The transformation was boosted by the pantomimes that became popular in the Victorian era – and, naturally, included a good fairy in the cast.

Angels hung on trees, represent the angels who heralded the birth of Christ. This particular example (right) was found in Canterbury Cathedral, Kent, England.

The star, which forms one of the most important ornaments of the Christmas tree, indicates the guiding star that led the shepherds and the magi to the newborn Jesus Christ in the stable in Bethlehem.

Stars have knocked angels off the top of the nation’s Christmas trees. Will and Guy have heard that demand has fallen so much that some street retailers have dropped angel tree toppers from shops this year. A decade ago angels were still outselling star tree toppers but now stars outsell angels more than 10-fold.

Next one on our list of Christmas stories is about faith and religion.

The Geese In The Storm or How Saul Found God

There was once a man, Saul, who didn’t believe in God, and he didn’t hesitate to let others know how he felt about religion and religious holidays, like Christmas. His wife, on the other hand, did believe, and she raised their children to also have faith in God and Jesus, despite Saul’s disparaging comments.

One snowy Christmas Eve, his wife was taking their children to a Christmas Eve church service in the small community in which they lived. She asked Saul to come, but he refused. ‘That story is nonsense!’ he said. ‘Why would God lower Himself to come to Earth as a man? That’s ridiculous.’

So she and the children went to church, and he stayed at home.

That evening, the winds grew stronger and the snow turned into a blizzard. As Saul looked out the window, all he saw was a blinding snowstorm. He sat down to relax before the fire for the evening. Then Saul heard a loud thump. Something had hit the window. Then another thump. He looked out, but couldn’t see more than a few feet. When the snow let up a little, Saul ventured outside to see what could have been beating on his window.

In the field near his house, he saw a flock of wild geese. They had been flying south for the winter when they got caught in the snowstorm and couldn’t go on. They were lost and stranded on his farm, with no food or shelter. They just flapped their wings and flew around the field in low circles, blindly and aimlessly.

Saul, an animal lover, felt sorry for the geese and wanted to help them. The barn would be a great place for them to stay, he thought. It’s warm and safe; surely they could spend the night and wait out the storm. So he walked over to the barn and opened the doors wide, then watched and waited, hoping they would notice the open barn and go inside. But the geese just fluttered around aimlessly and didn’t seem to notice the barn or realize what it could mean for them. Saul tried to get their attention, but that just seemed to scare them and they moved further away.

He went into the house and came with some bread, broke it up, and made a breadcrumb trail leading to the barn. They still didn’t catch on. Now he was getting frustrated. He got behind them and tried to shoo them toward the barn, but they only got more scared and scattered in every direction except toward the barn. Nothing he did could get them to go into the barn where they would be warm and safe. ‘Why don’t they follow me?’ Saul exclaimed. ‘Can’t they see this is the only place where they can survive the storm?’

He thought for a moment and realized that they just wouldn’t follow a human. ‘If only I were a goose, then I could save them,’ he said out loud.

Then Saul had an idea. He went into the barn, got one of his geese, and carried it in his arms as he circled behind the flock of wild geese. He then released it. His goose flew through the flock and straight into the barn, and one by one the other geese followed it to safety. He stood silently for a moment as the words he had spoken a few minutes earlier replayed in his mind: ‘If only I were a goose, then I could save them.’

Then Saul thought about what he had said to his wife earlier. ‘Why would God want to be like us? That’s ridiculous.’

Suddenly it all made sense. That is what God had done. We were like the geese, blind, lost, perishing. God had His Son become like us so He could show us the way and save us. That was the meaning of Christmas, he realized.

As the winds and blinding snow died down, his soul became quiet and pondered this wonderful thought. Suddenly he understood what Christmas was all about, why Christ had come. Years of doubt and disbelief vanished like a passing storm. Saul fell to his knees in the snow, and prayed his first prayer, ‘Thank You, God, for coming in human form to get me out of the storm.’

This is one of the Christmas stories, says Will and Guy, that appears to be an adaptation of a tale written by Louis Cassels in 1959 which we have slightly developed.

Secrets: A Christmas Poem

After discussing a few Christmas stories, let’s focus on a Christmas poem.

Secrets upstairs, secrets down,
On the eve of Christmas.

Daddy brings them from the town,
Wrapped in papers stiff and brown
On the eve of Christmas.
But the secret best of all,
On the eve of Christmas,
Steals right down the chimney tall,
Fills our stockings, one and all,
On the eve of Christmas.

Unknown

It Is More Blessed To Give …Than To Receive ……

Harry’s brother gave him a car as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve Harry left work and saw a street urchin admiring his shiny new vehicle.

‘Is this your car, Mister? The urchin, named Freddy asked.

Harry nodded in affirmation, ‘My brother gave it to me for Christmas.’

Freddy was surprised. ‘You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you anything? Boy, I wish…’ He hesitated. Harry knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like the one Harry had. But what the lad said was far beyond Harry’s expectations.

‘I wish,’ Freddy went on wistfully, ‘that I could be a brother like that.’

For a few seconds, words failed Harry and then he impulsively added, ‘Would you like to take a ride in my new car.’

‘Oh yes, I’d love that.’

After a short ride, Freddy turned towards Harry. His eyes were glowing and he said, ‘Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?’

Harry smiled a little. He thought he understood what the lad wanted. He wanted to show it off to his neighbors that he could ride home in a big motor car. But Harry was wrong again.

‘Will you stop where those two steps are?’ Freddy asked. He ran up the steps. In a little while Harry heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little brother who was physically challenged. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car. ‘There she is, Noel, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn’t cost him a penny. And someday I’m going to give you one just like it…then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that I’ve been trying to tell you about.’

Harry got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. Freddy, whose eyes were gleaming with joy climbed in beside him and the three of them embarked on a memorable holiday ride.

That Christmas Eve, Harry learned what Jesus meant when he said, ‘It is more blessed to give…’

That’s how this one became one of the most unforgettable Christmas stories.

The “Big Wheel” Truck Stop: A True and Joyous Christmas Story

In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone.

The boys ranged from three months to seven years and their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tyres crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds. He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.

Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it.

I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress. I loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.

The seven of us went to every factory, store, and restaurant in our small town. No luck. The kids stayed, crammed into the car, and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whoever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job. Still no luck.

The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called The Big Wheel.

An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street who babysat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.

That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers we all thanked God for finding Mummy a job.

And so I started at The Big Wheel. When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money: fully half of what I averaged every night.

As the weeks went by, heating bills added another strain to my meager wage. The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.

One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tyres! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand-new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana? I wondered. I made a deal with the owner of the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires. I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn’t enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids. I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boy’s pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.

On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in The Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.

When it was time for me to go home at seven o’clock on Christmas morning I hurried to the car. I was hoping the kids wouldn’t wake up before I managed to get home get the presents from the basement and place them under the tree. We had cut down a small cedar tree by the side of the road down by the dump. It was still dark and I couldn’t see much, but there appeared to be some dark shadows in the car, or was that just a trick of the night? Something certainly looked different, but it was hard to tell what.

When I reached the car I peered warily into one of the side windows. Then my jaw dropped in amazement.

My old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver’s side door, scrambled inside, and kneeled in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was a whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10. I looked inside another box, it was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes: There were candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling, and flour. There was a whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.

As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.

Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long ago December. And they all hung out at The Big Wheel truck stop.

The Golden Box: A Beautiful, Thought-Provoking, and Inspiring Christmas Story

Once upon a time, a man punished his five-year-old daughter for using up the family’s only roll of expensive gold wrapping paper before Christmas. Money was tight, so he became even more upset when on Christmas Eve, he saw that the child had used the expensive gold paper to decorate a large shoebox she had put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the next morning the little girl, filled with excitement, brought the gift box to her father and said, ‘This is for you, Daddy.’ As he opened the box, the father was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, now regretting how he had punished her.

But when he opened the shoebox, he found it was empty, and again his anger flared. ‘Don’t you know, young lady,’ he said harshly, ‘when you give someone a present there’s supposed to be something inside the package.’

The little girl looked up at him with sad tears rolling from her eyes and whispered, ‘Daddy, it’s not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was all
full.’

The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his precious little girl. He begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later.

It is said that the father kept this little gold box by his bed for all the years of his life. Whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems, he would open the box, take out an imaginary kiss, and remember the love of this beautiful child who had put it there.

Christmas Scrooge

Scrooge is one of the world’s most maligned and famous characters in Christmas stories. How do we think of Ebenezer Scrooge? Firstly it’s always Scrooge and never Ebenezer, secondly we always see him as hating children and being mean with money. If you find the time to read Charles Dicken’s novel ‘A Christmas Carol’, then you will discover a more complex personality. Indeed, the novel shows that Scrooge has a Jekyll and Hyde tendencies, where good overcomes evil.

The name Scrooge has become synonymous with meanness, and nothing is likely to change that general perception. We must also remember that Scrooge is a product of his time – London in the 1840s. Still, this character commonly appears in modern Christmas stories.

World’s Smallest Nativity Scene for Christmas

The world’s smallest nativity scene with tiny hand-carved figures including an angel has been created on the head of a pin by an Italian
craftsman.

Aldo Caliro sculpted the figures of the Virgin Mary, Joseph, and the Angel together with a tiny baby Jesus in his crib on the top of the pin that was then mounted on a piece of velvet surrounded by a halo of diamonds that dwarfed the figures, Will and Guy have learned.

Caliro then painted the figures by hand using a single sable hair from a paintbrush. Also, Caliro, a master craftsman in Italy, has now applied to enter the Guinness Book of Records.

Caliro stated, ‘It was hard work, I started off creating a nativity scene on a lentil and a coffee bean to warm up; and then when I had perfected those, I started work on the nativity scene on the head of the pin. I am very proud of it.’

Christmas Story Chav Nativity

Guy says this Chav Nativity is bound to offend some people (including me). These are the reasons that I still went ahead and published the article:

This may be the only form that young people can relate to the Nativity story.
It acts as a jolt. The form of words that I usually read in the Nativity, is not the same form of words that they were written 2000 years ago.
People can still read the traditional version published below.

There’s this bird called Mary, yeah? She’s a virgin (wossat then?)

She’s not married or nuffink, but she’s got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an’ that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She’s like ‘Oo ya lookin at?’ Gabriel just goes ‘You got one up the duff, you have.’ Mary’s gobsmacked. She gives it to him large ‘Stop dissin’ me yeah? I ain’t no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!’

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who’s six months gone herself. Liz is largin’ it. She’s filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an’ that.

She’s like ‘Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I’m well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an’ that we are gonna get.’ Mary goes ‘Yeah, s’pose you’re right’

Mary an’ Joe ain’t got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an’ go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub and Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an’ that.

But there ain’t no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an’ Joe break an’ enter into this garridge, only it’s filled wiv animals. Cahs an’ sheep an’ that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their ‘eads. They’re like ‘Respect, bay-bee Jesus’, an’ say they’re wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: ‘If you’re so wise, wotchoo doin’ wiv this Frankenstein an’ myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas, and Burberry?’ It’s all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an’ sez he’s got another message from this Lord geezer.

He’s like ‘The police are comin’ an’ they’re killin’ all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.’ Joe goes ‘You must be monged if you
think I’m goin’ dahn Egypt on a minging donkey’

Gabriel sez ‘Suit yerself, pal. But it’s your lookout if you stay.’ So they go dahn Egypt till they’ve stopped killin the first-born an’ it’s
safe an’ that.

Then Joe Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an’ Jesus turns water into Stella.

‘APPY CRIMBO

A Child’s Christmas Prayer

As a part of our Christmas stories, here’s a child’s prayer for Christmas:

Snowflakes softly falling
Upon your window play,
Your blankets snug around you,
and into sleep, you drift away.
I bend to gently kiss you,
when I see that on the floor
There’s a letter, neatly written,

I wonder who it’s for.

I quietly unfold it making sure you’re still asleep,
It’s a Christmas list for Santa –
one my heart will always keep.
It started just as always with the toys seen on TV,
A new watch for your father and a winter coat for me.

But as my eyes read on
I could see that deep inside
There were many things you wished for that your loving heart would hide.
You asked if your friend Molly could have another dad;
It seems her father hits her and it makes you very sad.

Then you asked dear Santa
if the neighbors down the street
Could find a job, so that he might have some food, clothes, and heat.
You saw a family on the news
whose house had blown away;
‘Dear Santa, send them just one thing
a place where they can stay.

And Santa, those four cookies
that I left you for a treat,
Could you take them to the children
who has nothing else to eat?
Do you know that little bear I have –
the one I love so dear?

I’m leaving it for you to take
to Africa this year.

And as you fly your reindeer
on this night of Jesus’ birth,
Could your magic bring everyone
goodwill and peace on earth?

There’s one last thing before you go–
so grateful I would be–
If you’d smile at Baby Jesus in the manger by our tree.’

I pulled the letter close to me;

I felt it melt my heart.
Those tiny hands had written
what no other could impart.
‘And a little child shall lead them,’
was whispered in my ear
As I watched you sleep on Christmas Eve while
Santa Claus was here.

Funny Children’s Christmas Stories

Here is Will and Guy’s collection of clean but funny Christmas stories for boys and girls of all ages. We have chosen these Christmas stories so that you could tell them around the fireside at Christmastime.

A Funny Story Of Santa and the Two Sisters

Daisy and her thirteen-year-old sister, Mia, had been fighting a great deal during the last year. This often can happen when you combine a strong-willed two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent.

Daisy’s parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and he was unhappy when he saw children argue and fight. This had little impact on little Mia who didn’t understand.

‘I’ll just have to tell Santa about your misbehavior,’ the mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Mia’s eyes grew big as her mother asked, ‘Mrs. Claus?’ [it was Daisy and Mia’s aunt as Santa’s real line was busy] if she could put Santa on the line.

Mia’s mouth dropped even further open her mother described to Santa [Mia’s uncle] how the two-year-old was acting. When her mother told Mia that Santa wanted to talk to her, she reluctantly took the phone.

Santa, speaking in a deep voice, explained to Mia how there would be no presents on Christmas morning for children who fought with their sisters. He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on.

Mia, now even more wide-eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa’s remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done. After a short while, the sister’s mother [trying hard not to laugh at being so clever] asked Mia, ‘What did Santa say to you, darling?’

In almost a whisper, Mia, sadly but matter-of-factly stated, ‘Mummy, Santa said he won’t be bringing any toys to Daisy this year.’

Funny Face

We couldn’t have miss this small poem from our Christmas stories:

The funniest face looked out at me,
From a silver ball On the Christmas Tree.

At first, I thought it was Santa’s elf,
But I looked again and It was just myself.

Santa And The Poor Daughters: A Lovely Tale for Christmas Time

Baron Derbyshire was a kindly nobleman whose life was extremely hard. His beloved wife had died of an illness leaving him and his three daughters in utter despair.

After losing all his money in useless and bad inventions the family had to move from their castle in Yorkshire, England, into a peasant’s cottage, where the daughters did their cooking, sewing, and cleaning. When it came time for the daughters to marry, Baron Derbyshire became even more depressed as his daughters could not marry without dowries, money, and property given to the new husband’s family.

One night after the daughters had washed their clothing they hung their stockings over the fireplace to dry. That night Saint Nicholas, knowing the despair of the father, stopped by the nobleman’s hovel. Looking in at the window Saint Nicholas saw that the family had already gone to bed. He also noticed the daughter’s stockings. Saint Nicholas was profoundly moved and he
took three small bags of gold from his pouch and threw them one by one down the chimney whereupon they landed in the stockings.

The next morning when the daughters awoke they found their stockings contained enough gold for them to get married. Baron Derbyshire was able to see his three daughters marry, and he lived a long and happy life.

The Legend of Poinsettia: A Children’s Xmas Story from Mexico

Dr. Joel Poinsett, who was the first ambassador to Mexico, brought the bright red star-shaped flower to the United States. Hence, it was named as Poinsettia. It is also known as “Flame Leaf” or “Flower of the Holy Night”.

The legend related to this delightful Christmas flower is Mexican too. However, it must be remembered there are two versions of the story. In one version, the two small children of the story are known as Maria and her little brother Pablo; while in another version, two cousins are mentioned by the names of Pepita and Pedro.

Will and Guy think that whatever their names, this is one of the Christmas stories that need re-telling.

There was once a brother-sister pair who were very poor. They lived in a small village and had barely enough to eat two full meals a day. As Christmas time approached, festivities, parades, and parties in the village attracted the children. The gaiety of the season in itself was wonderful.
Moreover, a large manger scene was being set up in the village church and all the children were eager to go to Baby Jesus and give him their best present.

Mario and Pablo also wanted to give presents to the Holy Child. While all the children were discussing what they thought was best for the baby and what they would buy as a gift for Him, Mario and Pablo knew that they had no money at all to buy any present and had nothing that they could give as a gift to the child.

They were determined to go to church and see the boy child. So, on Christmas Eve, Maria and Pablo set out for the village church a little earlier than the others to attend the service.

Since they had nothing to give to the child, they thought of picking some weeds that were growing along the roadside to make a soft bed for Baby Jesus and decorate his crib. While they were still decorating the crib of the Baby, other children arrived. Now, children can be very cruel when it comes to teasing and making fun of others; Mario and Pablo were almost in
tears for shame and helplessness when a miracle occurred.

Suddenly, the weeds burst into bright red petals that looked like stars and were so beautiful that everyone was awestruck with their beauty. Everybody realized and said that a gift of love is dearer to Jesus than the most expensive presents that money could buy.

Ever since that day, Poinsettia flowers have become favorites for Christmas decorations.

Here Are More Christmas Stories From Our Website for Children

Saying a Prayer for His Christmas Meal

Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, and even the cranberry sauce. Then Lee paused, and everyone waited … and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, “If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won’t he know that I’m lying?”

Christmas Tale: Children’s Letters to Santa

Carole Slotterback, a psychology professor at the University of Scranton, analyzed over 1,000 letters addressed to Santa Claus. The results were as moving as they were surprising

Some of the letters were scrawled, while others were written in the best handwriting, furthermore ‘Dear Santa’ letters were written in every shade of ink. Curiously, many gave Santa not only their addresses, but also their phone numbers, and parents’ cellphones all to make sure the Main Man knew how to find them at Christmas.

Carole reported that the letters “touched me in so many different ways”. “Some are just absolutely a stitch, and others are some of the saddest things I’ve ever read,” she said.

One kid asked to be an elf. Another made a list that included Pokemon cards, a camera, and a microscope. But about every third item, the child wrote: “NO clothes”. And then there was the one written in careful cursive on bright pink paper, in which Santa was asked for perhaps the greatest gift of all, a mom.

“Not just for me but my daddy, brother, and granny … my daddy works so hard and then he comes home to cook and clean and it should be easier,” the letter read. The child drew a five-cent ‘stamp’ on the envelope before dropping it into the mailbox.

Overall, about 5% of letters had “family requests”, such as for a sick grandpa to get better, or for Mom and Dad to stop fighting.

She suggested parents ask to see their kids’ wish lists because they might be surprised at what is – and what’s not – on it. Requests are often “simpler kinds of things than you might think,” Slotterback said.

But she noted a surprising lack of social niceties in the correspondence unless the child was asking for a pet. A boy who asked for a golden retriever used “please” 16 times, she said. The next-highest use came from a girl who wanted a horse.

Slotterback cited other research that found people who expect their requests to be fulfilled – like a boss asking an employee to do something – are less likely to say please. Perhaps likewise, she said, kids expect Santa to come through.

Still, she said, “You’d think if you were asking for a lot of presents, you would throw in a ‘please’ or a ‘thank you.'”

Not a Funny Christmas Children’s Story

Grinch Handcuffs Santa’s Writing Hand

Zillions of children worldwide will be crestfallen this year because Santa does not reply to their Christmas present letters. In another case of officialdom getting above itself, of Jobsworths ruling the roost, the US Postal Service has abandoned the time-honored tradition of replying
to children’s letters to Santa. What happened in 2008 was a registered sex offender, infiltrated Operation Santa. Why not weed out the guilty, praise the innocent, and keep the letters coming to the children? But don’t let the evil Grinch handcuff Santa’s writing hand.

Background: Santa’s reply service began in 1954 in the Alaskan village of North Pole, where volunteers open and respond to stacks of mail addressed to Santa. All their reply letters come with the famous North Pole postmark.

North Pole mayor Doug Isaacson is outraged that the scheme is affected by a sex offender’s actions on the East Coast. The postal service began tightening its policies in 2006 and now prohibits its volunteers from accessing children’s surnames and addresses. Instead, it blanks out the last name and address on each letter and replaces them with codes that
match computerized addresses known only to the post office.

Funny Christmas Statistics to Make Children Smile

There are currently 78 people named S. Claus living in the USA and one Kriss Kringle.
December is the most popular month for nose jobs.
The weight of Santa’s sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons [approx. says Guy].
The number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton sleigh: 214,206, plus Rudolph.
To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound.
At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flames instantaneously thinks Will.
The average British child will open 18 presents on Christmas morning, worth £330 [$600USD] according to a survey.
Of the presents received, one in 10 will be broken by the New Year, only 40% will make it to March and just a quarter will be intact by next Xmas.
In total, around 46 million kid’s toys, worth £870m will be thrown away worldwide.

Funny Christmas Stories on Kids

Kids can be delightful, especially at Christmas. Here is Will and Guy’s collection of clean but funny Christmas stories and jokes. We have tried to choose Christmas stories that appeal to both children and adults.

At the End-of-term Christmas Party and Disco

‘Isn’t the head teacher a bit of a twit?’ said a boy to a girl.

‘Well, do you know who I am?’ inquired the girl.
‘No.’ replied the boy.

‘I’m the head teacher’s daughter’, replied the girl.
‘And do you know who I am?’ asked the boy.

‘No,’ she uttered.

‘Thank goodness!’ said the boy with a sigh of relief.

Don’t Try This at Home!

Pastor Tony is walking down the street on Christmas Eve when he notices Larry, a small boy, trying to press the doorbell of a house across the street. However, Larry is very small and the
doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, Pastor Tony moves closer to Larry’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, and placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to Larry’s level, Pastor Tony smiles benevolently and asks, ‘And now what, my little man?’

To which Larry replies with a beaming grin, ‘Now we run!’

Penultimate Day of Term before the Christmas Holiday

‘Today we’ll relax a little and play a spelling game before we break up for the Christmas holidays,’ says Mrs Anand, the primary schoolteacher. Each of you will stand up, tell us your name, and what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All
right, Jack, you can go first.’

Jack stands up and says, ‘My name’s Jack. My father is a builder, b-u-i-l-d-e-r, and he helps to put up homes.’

Mrs Anand says, ‘Very good. All right, Dominic, your turn.’

Dominic stands and says, ‘My name’s Dominic. My father’s a pharmacist, f-a-m… f-a-r-n… f-n…’

The teacher, Mrs Anand, says, ‘Dominic, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Bobby.’

Bobby stands up and says, ‘My name’s Bobby. My old man is a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he’d give you five to two odds Dominic won’t spell pharmacist by tomorrow.’

The Girl Knows What She Wants

Santa is accustomed to kids bringing their lists with them when they visit him. But one little girl knew what she wanted and how to get it.

The girl, about 6 years old and dressed in her frilliest dress, sat on Santa’s lap and proceeded to read more than 20 items off of her list – everything from Barbies and dolls to a particular brand of baby carriage.

As the little girl reached the end of her list, she turned to Santa and said, ‘If you can’t bring all of this, don’t worry. My daddy will give it to me.’

‘Do you want to give me the list?’ Santa asked.

‘No, I think I should keep it for my daddy,’ she replied.

Santa, Will, and Guy both agreed.

Here Are More Christmas Stories From Our Website for Children

Trust Me

Reverend Billy Graham was walking down the Hudson Drive in Harrisburg, North Carolina on his way to see a sick woman. However, he wanted to post a letter urgently so he asked a young boy where he could find the post office. When the boy had directed him, Billy Graham thanked him and said, ‘If you’ll come to the Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to heaven.’

The boy replied, ‘I think I’ll give your sermon a miss. If you don’t even know your way to the Harrisburg post office, how will you lead me to heaven?’

The Value of a Sermon

One Christmas morning, the Reverend Jones announced to his congregation, ‘My good people, I have here in my hand three sermons……

A $50 sermon that lasts five minutes
A $20 sermon that lasts thirty minutes
And a $5 sermon that lasts a full hour.

Now, we’ll take the collection and see which one I’ll deliver.’

Here is the 11th Commandment

Reginald’s New Year Diet

Reginald was terribly overweight after Christmas, so his doctor placed him on a strict diet.

‘I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds, ‘his doctor assured him.

When Reginald returned he shocked his doctor by having lost almost twenty pounds.

‘Why, that’s amazing, ‘the doctor said, greatly impressed, ‘You certainly must have followed my instructions.’

Reginald nodded, ‘I’ll tell you what though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the third day.’

‘Why, from hunger?’ asked his doctor.

‘No, from all that skipping.’

Funny Christmas Stories on Christmas Tree

Here is Will and Guy’s collection of short Christmas stories about Christmas trees.

The Christmas Tree: A Happy Tale for Christmastide for Young Children

One Christmas Eve the trees in a wood were very unhappy. They wished very much to keep Christmas, but they did not know how to do so.

‘We look so brown,’ complained one.
‘And so bare,’ added another.

‘If we only had our pretty green summer dresses,’ contributed a third, ‘then we should be decorated and could keep Christmas.’

‘Hush, children, hush,’ whispered North Wind in quite a gentle voice for such a rough fellow. ‘Make haste and go to sleep.’

‘Hush, children, hush,’ softly murmured a sleepy little bird. He was roosting on one of the branches of the unhappy trees.

So the trees dropped off to sleep, one by one, while a little star twinkled peacefully overhead.

While they slept something happened. When the trees awoke they found that someone, perhaps North Wind, had, during the night, cast over each of them a lovely soft cloak of spotless feathery white.

‘How beautiful we are,’ said the trees. ‘Now we can keep our Christmas.’

Will and Guy’s Funny Christmas Stories about Christmas Tree

The above is one of the Christmas stories that has been researched on the internet. It does not appear to be restricted by copyright so we are delighted to be able to share them with you. Will has adapted and rewritten the tales. We hope you enjoyed reading it.

If you happen to be the writer of this or any other Christmas stories on this page, then please let us know so that we can give you credit for your story, or remove it if you would prefer.

Artificial Christmas Tree Recall

November 2010, Liverpool, England: The Merseyside Food Inspection Agency (MFIA) has issued a warning about artificial Christmas trees made in Korea. The problem concerns the Ringo beatle which infests tree bark and may escape and attack people’s skin and lay eggs in their hair.

An MFIA spokesperson said, ‘The trees should have been treated with Rollingus stone which makes the Ringo beatle listless and curl up. However, this batch of artificial trees is untreated, consequently, this beetle can cause hysteria in teenagers and flashbacks in older people. Strangely, the illness affects females more seriously than males’.

The affected model is the ‘Sergeant Pepper’ and the batch number is FAB4. In December MFIA issued a recall notice for these artificial Christmas trees. Anyone who bought a ‘Sergeant Pepper tree in November should return it to the shop from where they purchased it and ask for a refund. To help with Beatle identification, the MFIA has released the following funny Christmas tree picture:

Above is an identification guide to help with the recall of artificial Christmas trees.

Funny Christmas Tree Story – Branches Go Through the Roof

A father has filled his house with a giant 35ft Christmas tree cut from the New Forest in Southern England after his son was disappointed with last year’s decorations.

At first glance, it looks as if the massive tree has burst straight through the roof of the six-bedroom house on Carbery Avenue. Greg Howe has painstakingly cut the £250 [$375] tree into three sections with the huge trunk in the living room, the middle section in a spare bedroom, and the top perched on a flat part of the roof. Greg Howe enlisted the help of several friends and the fire brigade to get the star on top of the huge tree at his Bournemouth home. It is thought that in the interests of safety, the star is, in fact, a smoke detector.

Will and Guy have learned that this funny-looking Yule tree is decorated with some 160 baubles and approximately 2000 LED lights and is already proving a winner in the area and with Mr Howe’s children.

Christmas Tree Poem

The Nicest Present by Joanna and Karl Fuchs

Under the tree, the gifts enthrall,
But the nicest present of them all
Is filling our thoughts with those who care,
Wanting our Christmas joy to share.

To you, whom we’re often thinking of,
We send our holiday joy and love.

The Story of the World’s Oldest Christmas Tree

Janet Parker of Chippenham, Wiltshire, England, probably has the world’s oldest artificial Christmas tree, it has been in her family since 1886. The miniature tree originally cost 6d (2½p), and is 12in high. (See picture below)

Because Mrs Parker can establish its provenance through family letters and photos, representatives of the Guinness Book of World Records, have agreed that it’s the world’s oldest artificial Christmas tree.

It was her great aunt, Lou Hicks, who gave the tree to Mrs Parker. The present owner said: ‘It amazes me to think it’s been appearing every Christmas since Victorian times. It’s still such a lovely decoration.’

Funny Christmas Stories About Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer

What a brilliant Christmas cartoon, suitable for Christmas stories. I just cannot get this picture of Rudolph having his nose buffed out of my mind.

True Story – Rudolph loses his sparkle

After complaints from shoppers, a plastic Reindeer in a South African shopping mall lost the shiny golden Christmas tree baubles hanging between its hind legs.

(From the Daily Telegraph)

Rudolph finds a Mate?

The course of true love never did run smoothly.

The Names of the Other Christmas Reindeer

In addition to Rudolph, Santa has nine more raindeers who haul the sleigh to the other
Raindeers are called: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner (Dunder), and Blitzen (Blixhem).

Will and Guy Find the REAL Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – Lyrics

Rudolph, the red-nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows.

All of the other Reindeer used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph join in any Reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say: ‘Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?’

Then all the Raindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed Reindeer, you’ll go down in history!

Robert May wrote the lyrics to ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ in the late 1940s. His mission was to produce a ditty that would appeal particularly to children. The idea was for Father Christmas to give away a poem as children left the Department Store’s Christmas Grotto. ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ was a great success in 1948, and just about every year since. In 1949 Gene Autry, the singing cowboy, recorded the first version of the song.

Santa Claus Takes Poor, Sick Rudolph to the Vet

He says to the vet, ‘Doctor, please do something for my Rudolph. His nose won’t light up.

The vet walks out of the room and returns with a pet carrier. He places the pet carrier next to the Raindeer, opens it, and out steps a cat. The cat walks around the Raindeer and sniffs it. The cat then climbs back into the carrier. The animal doctor takes it out of the room and returns. He hands Santa Claus the bill.

Santa gasps, ‘$350! [UK £700] You didn’t do anything for my Rudolph and you’re charging me $350?

The vet shrugged and replied, ‘That’s the usual charge. $50 for the office visit and $300 for the CAT SCAN.’

White Christmas Reindeer

White Reindeer is just a variation of brown reindeer, just as you get white cats or white dogs.
The key to true albino raindeers is the eyes; albinos have pink eyes, and ‘ordinary’ white raindeers have brown eyes.
Reindeer in North America are called caribou.
They are the only deer in which both genders have antlers.
Raindeers have broad, flat feet with deeply cleft hooves making it easier for them to walk in the snow.
They are excellent swimmers and their ‘thermal’ coats act like
lifejackets.
Reindeers live predominantly in Northern Asia, Europe, Siberia, Alaska, Canada, and Greenland. In Alaska and Canada, they particularly inhabit forests and the tundra.
Reindeer live in the tundra in the summer and migrate in the autumn [fall] when they move south.
The reindeer’s thick coat is waterproof. Reindeer live in cold places because in warmer climates they will lose their coats.
They eat grass, lichens, and plants; they need to eat twelve pounds of food a day. If their plants are covered with snow they will shovel or dig with their hoofs.
Raindeer’s enemies are wolves, coyotes, and bears which might prey on the newborn because they are weaker. Reindeer may live for some 15 years. The main problem with their health is road traffic: in Finland, for example, more than 4,000 reindeer are run over each year by cars.
Laplanders keep raindeer as pets. They also use reindeer for milk, clothing, and meat.
Reindeer are gregarious animals and enjoy the company of the herd.

A Real ‘Bambi’ Called Bella

A lady found the fawn under her step [they think the doe might have been hit by a car].

Her Ridge-Back dog, called Hogan, is helping look after ‘Bambi’. The family named the stray fawn Bella. Once she has regained her strength they are going to send the Bambi to some friends. They have experience raising two orphan deer, and then releasing them to the wild. Right now Bella is being bottle-fed.

Modern Christmas Stories

Will and Guy love examples of modern versions of classic Christmas stories

A Ghanaian Christmas Story by Peter E. Adotey Addo

The first story from our modernized Christmas stories is related to Ghana.

It was the night before Christmas in Ghana and I was very sad because my family life had been severely disrupted and I was sure that Christmas would never come. There was none of the usual joy and anticipation that I always felt during the Christmas season. I was eight years old, but in the past few months, I had grown a great deal.

Before this year I thought Christmas in my Ghanaian village came with many things. Christmas has always been for me one of the most joyous religious festivals. It was the time for beautiful Christmas music on the streets, on radio, on television, and everywhere. Christmas had always been a religious celebration and the church started preparing way back in November. We felt that we were preparing for the birth of the baby Jesus. Christmas was the time when relatives and friends visited each other so there were always people traveling and visiting with great joy from all the different ethnic groups. I always thought that was what Christmas was all about. Oh, how I wished I had some of the traditional food consumed at the Christmas Eve dinner and the Christmas Day dinner. I remembered the taste of rice, chicken, goat, lamb, and fruits of various kinds. The houses were always decorated with beautiful paper ornaments. The children and all the young people loved to make and decorate their homes and schools with colorful crepe paper.

All of us looked forward to the Christmas Eve Service at our church. After the service, there would be a joyous possession through the streets. Everyone would be in a gala mood with local musicians in a Mardi Gras mood. Then on Christmas Day, we all went back to church to read the scriptures and sing carols to remind us of the meaning of the blessed birth of the baby Jesus. We always thought that these were the things that meant Christmas. After the Christmas service, young people received gifts of special chocolate, special cookies, and special crackers. Young people were told that the gifts come from Father Christmas, and this always meant Christmas for us. They also received new clothes and perhaps new pairs of shoes. Meanwhile, throughout the celebration, everyone was greeted with the special greeting, “Afishapa,” the Akan word meaning “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.” Oh, how I wish that those memories were real tonight to bring us Christmas.

However, this Christmas Eve things were different and I knew Christmas would never come.
Everyone was sad and desperate because of what happened last April when the so-called Army of Liberation attacked our village and took all the young boys and girls away. Families were separated and some were murdered. We were forced to march and walk for many miles without food. We were often hungry and we were given very little food. The soldiers burned everything in our village and during our forced march we lost all sense of time and place.

Miraculously we were able to get away from the soldiers during one rainy night. After several weeks in the tropical forest, we made our way back to our burned-out village. Most of us were sick, exhausted, and depressed. Most of the members of our families were nowhere to be found. We had no idea what day or time it was.

This was the situation until my sick grandmother noticed the reddish and yellow flower we call “Fire on the Mountain” blooming in the middle of the marketplace where the tree had stood for
generations and had bloomed for generations at Christmas time. For some reason, it had survived the fire that had engulfed the marketplace. I remembered how the nectar from this beautiful flower had always attracted insects making them drowsy enough to fall to the ground to become food for crows and lizards. We were surprised that the fire that the soldiers had
started to burn the marketplace and the village did not destroy the “Fire on the Mountain” tree. What a miracle it was. Grandmother told us that it was almost Christmas because the flower was blooming. As far as she could remember this only occurred at Christmas time. My spirits were lifted perhaps for a few minutes as I saw the flower. Soon I became sad again. How could Christmas come without my parents and my village?

How could this be Christmas time when we celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace because
since April we have not known any peace, only war and suffering. How could we celebrate as grandmother instructed us to do before she died? Those were the last words she spoke before she died last night. As I continued to think about past joyous Christmases and the present suffering, we heard the horn of a car, and not just one horn but several cars approaching our village. At first, we thought they were cars full of men with machine guns so we hid in the forest. To our surprise, they were not soldiers and they did not have guns. They were just ordinary travelers. It seemed the bridge over the river near our village had been destroyed last April as the soldiers left our village. Since it was almost dusk and there were rumors that there were land
mines on the roads, they did not want to take any chances. Their detour had led them straight to our village.

When they saw us they were shocked and horrified at the suffering and the devastation all around us. Many of these travelers began to cry. They confirmed that tonight was Christmas Eve. All of them were on their way to their villages to celebrate Christmas with family and friends. Now circumstances had brought them to our village at this time on this night before Christmas. They shared the little food they had with us. They even helped us to build a fire in the center of the marketplace to keep us warm. In the middle of all this, my oldest sister became ill and could not stand up. A short time after we returned to our village my grandmother told me that my oldest sister was expecting a baby. My sister had been in a state of shock and speechless since we all escaped from the soldiers.

I was so afraid for my sister because we did not have any medical supplies and we were not near a hospital. Some of the travelers and the villagers removed their shirts and clothes to make a bed for my sister to lie near the fire we had made. On that fateful night, my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. This called for a celebration, war or no war. Africans have to dance and we celebrated until the rooster crowed at 6 a.m. We sang Christmas songs. Everyone sang in his or her own language. For the first time, all the pain and agony of the past few months went away. When morning finally came my sister was asked, “What are you going to name the baby?” Would you believe for the first time since our village was burned and all the young girls and boys were taken away, she spoke. She said, “His name is ‘Gye Nyame’, which means ‘Except God I fear none.'”

And so we celebrated Christmas that night. Christmas did come to our village
that night, but it did not come in the cars or with the travelers. It came in the birth of my nephew amid our suffering. We saw hope in what this little child could do. This birth turned out to be the universal story of how bad things turned into universal hope, the hope we found in the Baby Jesus. A miracle occurred that night before Christmas and all of a sudden I knew we were not alone anymore. Now I knew there was hope and I had learned that Christmas comes despite all circumstances. Christmas is always within us all. Christmas came even to our Ghanaian village that night.

By Peter E. Adotey Addo

Christmas is for Love – Classic Tale

‘Christmas is for love’ is a short story that Will and Guy have found on the internet and we would like to share it with you as a part of our Christmas stories. The author remains unknown. It is not funny but is worth reading when considering what the Christmas message means to each of us as individuals.

Christmas is for love. It is for joy, for giving and sharing, for laughter, for reuniting with family and friends, for tinsel and brightly covered packages. But, mostly Christmas is for love. I had not believed this until a small elf in like pupil with wide innocent eyes and soft rosy cheeks gave me a wondrous gift one Christmas.

Matthew was a 10-year-old orphan who lived with his aunt, a bitter, middle-aged woman greatly annoyed with the burden of caring for her dead sister’s son. She never failed to remind young Matthew if it hadn’t been for her generosity, he would be a vagrant, homeless waif. Still,
with all the scolding and chilliness at home, he was a sweet and gentle child.

I had not noticed Matthew particularly until he began staying after class each day [at the risk of arousing his aunt’s anger so I learned later] to help me straighten up the room. We did this quietly and comfortably, not speaking much, but enjoying the solitude of that hour of the day. When we did talk, Matthew spoke mostly of his mother. Though he was quite young when she died, he remembered a kind, gentle, loving woman who always spent time with him.

As Christmas drew near however Matthew failed to stay after school each day. I looked forward to his coming, and when the days passed and he continued to scamper from the room after class, I stopped him one afternoon and asked him why he no longer helped me in the room. I told him how I had missed him, and his large brown eyes lit up eagerly as he replied, ‘Did you miss me?’

I explained how he had been my best helper, ‘I was making you a surprise,’ he whispered confidentially. ‘It’s for Christmas.’ With that, he became embarrassed and dashed from the room. He didn’t stay after school anymore after that.

Finally came the last school day before Christmas. Matthew crept slowly into the room late that afternoon with his hands concealing something behind his back. ‘I have your present,’ he said timidly when I looked up. ‘I hope you like it.’ He held out his hands, and there lying in his small palms was a tiny wooden box.

‘It’s beautiful, Matthew. Is there something in it?’ I asked opening the top to look inside. ‘Oh you can’t see what’s in it,’ he replied, ‘and you can’t touch it, or taste it or feel it, but mother always said it makes you feel good all the time, warm on cold nights and safe when you’re all alone.’

I gazed into the empty box. ‘What is it, Matthew’ I asked gently, ‘that will make me feel so good?’

‘It’s love,’ he whispered, ‘and mother always said it’s best when you give it away.’ He
turned and quietly left the room.

So now I keep a small box crudely made of scraps of wood on the piano in my living room and only smile when inquiring friends raise quizzical eyebrows when I explain to them there is love in it.

Yes, Christmas is for gaiety, mirth, song, and good and wondrous gifts. But mostly, Christmas is for love.

An Inspiring Parable At Christmas: It Is More Blessed To Give Than To Receive*

Corinne was a little girl who was all alone in the world. Her father and mother were both dead. Corinne was so poor that she no longer had a room to live in; neither did she have a bed to sleep in. All Corinne owned were the clothes that she was wearing. As regards food, she had nothing more to eat than a small piece of bread that someone had given her.

Corinne was forsaken by all the world but hoped that God would find a way to help her.

One day she left her home village. Corinne hadn’t walked very far when she saw an old man sitting by the wayside. ‘Oh, my dear child, give me something to eat. I’m so hungry,’ he murmured to her. Corinne, without hesitation, gave him her piece of bread.

When she had gone a little further and the church spire of her village could no longer be seen, she came upon a young child. He only had a shirt on and begged, ‘Could you give me something to cover my head? I’m so cold.’ Corinne, taking pity on the child took off her bonnet and gave it to him.

Further along the road, Corinne observed another child by the woods. She only wore a vest and was trembling with cold. She pleaded, ‘Dear girl, I’m so cold without a skirt. Haven’t you a little skirt for me?’ Corinne, herself, only had her vest and skirt but without hesitating she took off her skirt, presented it to the freezing child, and walked on.

Meanwhile, it had become evening. It was dark in the woods. Then another child came towards her and asked, ‘I’m so cold, haven’t you a vest for me?’

Corinne considered this carefully; she thought it was dark here in the woods. Nobody will see me. It won’t matter if I have no clothes and she took off her vest, too, and handed it to the child.

As Corinne stood there without any clothes, the stars started to fall from the sky. They were all hard, shining pennies and although she had just given away her vest, she realized she had a new one on. It was made out of the most delicate fabric and much nicer than her own. Corinne held out the vest with both hands and collected as many of the pennies as she could.

From then on she was rich and lived without any worries at all.

*Bible: Acts 20:35

A Different Short Christmas Story

A Tale We Can All Learn From:

Ian came home from work late in the week before Christmas, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year-old son waiting for him at the front door.

‘Daddy, may I ask you a question?’ said Jack.

‘Yep sure, what it is?’ replied Ian rather brusquely.

‘Daddy, how much do you earn in an hour?’

‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ Ian responded angrily.

‘I just need to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour? ‘ pleaded Jack.

‘If you must know, Jack, I make £25 an hour,’ answered his father.

‘Oh,’ the Jack replied, with his head down.

‘Daddy, may I please borrow £10?’ added Jack nervously.

Ian became furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy for Christmas or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard every day for such childish frivolities.’

Jack quietly went to his room and shut the door.

Ian sat down and started to get even angrier about Jack’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, Ian had calmed down and started to think. Maybe there was something he needed to buy with that £10.00 and he didn’t ask for money very often The man went to the door of his son’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ Ian asked quietly.

‘No Daddy, I’m awake,’ replied Jack.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,’ said Ian. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the £10.00 you asked for.’

Jack sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you Daddy’ he cried. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up notes.

Ian saw that the boy already had money, and started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money and then looked up at his father with his large brown eyes.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ Ian grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied. ‘Daddy, I have £25 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early on Christmas Eve so I can have dinner with you.’

Ian was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that £25 worth of your time with someone you love.

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