Here is Will and Guy’s collection of proverbs, wise sayings, and amusing adages for children and grown-ups.

Funny Proverbs – According to 6year olds

Mary taught first grade.  She had a class of twenty-five adorable 6-year-olds.  One day Mary gave each child the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to write the remainder of the proverb.  It’s hard to believe these funny proverbs were actually written by first graders.  While reading the results, keep in mind that these are only first graders, just 6 years old.

  1. No news is……………………….impossible.
  2. Love all, trust………………….. me.
  3. An idle mind is……………………the best way to relax.
  4. Strike while the…………………..bug is close.
  5. Better late than…………………..pregnant.
  6. A penny saved is…………………. not much.
  7. Don’tchange horses………………..until they stop running.
  8. A miss is as good as a ………………. Mr.
  9. Happy is the bride who………………….gets all the presents.
  10. Two’s company, three’s………………….. the Musketeers.
  11. Don’t bite the hand that…………………. looks dirty.
  12. It’s always darkest before…………………. Daylight Saving Time.
  13. There are none so blind as ……………….. Stevie Wonder.
  14. Where there’s smoke there’s………………. pollution.
  15. The pen is mightier than the………………… pigs.
  16. If at first, you don’t succeed…………………. get new batteries.
  17. When the blind lead the blind……………….. get out of the way!
  18. Children should be seen and not ………………spanked or grounded.
  19. You can’t teach an old dog new ………….. ….math.
  20. Don’t put off till tomorrow what……………….. you put on to go to bed.
  21. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…………………. stink in the morning.
  22. You can lead a horse to water but ……………… how?
  23. Never underestimate the power of ……………….. termites.
  24. You get out of something only what you …………… see in the picture on the box.
  25. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you………….. cry and you have to blow your nose.

Funny Proverb – Savings

A Year 5 teacher was giving her Primary pupils a lesson in developing logical thinking.

‘This is the scene’, said the teacher.

‘A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?’

A little girl raised her hand and asked, ‘To draw out all his savings?’

Funny Proverbs and Adages for Grown-ups

Proverbs chart

More Funny Proverbs and Wise Sayings

  • Fools rush in where fools have been before.
  • It’s called “take home” pay because you can’t afford to go anywhere else with it.
  • Success is relative; the greater the success, the more relatives.
  • If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
  • You must have learned from others’ mistakes. You haven’t had time to think all those up yourself.
  • People like criticism; just keep it positive and flattering.
  • It’s OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
  • Worry kills more people than work because more people worry than work.
  • Middle age is when the broadness of the mind, and narrowness of the waist, change places.
  • When you’re getting kicked from behind, at least it means you’re in front.
  • Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
  • A junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
  • Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
  • Some people are like blisters. They don’t show up until the work is done.
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
  • Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  • The one who snores will fall asleep first.
  • The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.

Onomatopoeic Sounds

Onomatopoeia is a figure of speech where the word sounds like the thing that it is describing.  For example, ‘Miaow’ ‘moo’, or ‘slosh’.   Here are examples from advertising.

  • ‘Snap crackle pop.’ Kellogg’s cleverly uses this onomatopoeia in their Rice Krispies adverts.
  • ‘Plink, plink, fizz, fizz’. Alka Seltzer, UK

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