Jokes for Canada Day on July 1st
Five Short Jokes for Canada Day
1. Canadian Habits
There are two seasons in Canada – winter and July. Hence the celebrations on July 1st.
In Canada, the local paper covers national and international headlines on two pages but requires five pages for ice hockey.
Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain. – Pierre Trudeau [former Prime Minister of Canada]
2. Canadian on Fire
Ronnie, a Canadian, came home and found his house on fire; he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department, and shouted, ‘Hurry over here… My house is on fire.’
‘OK,’ replied the fireman, ‘how do we get there?’
What? Don’t you still have those big red trucks?’
3. On the Canadian Border
Maisie, an elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years. The widowed woman lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.
One day, Albert, her son came into her room holding a letter. ‘I just got some news, Mom,’ he said, ‘the government has come to an agreement with the people in North Dakota. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?’
‘What do I think?’ sighed Maisie, ‘sign it. Call them right now and tell them we accept. I don’t think I can stand another Canadian winter.’
4. Clever Canadian
Jacques Larouche, a Canadian calls the *RCMP, ‘Hello is the RCMP? I’m calling about my neighbor, Étienne Dubois. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.’
The next day the RCMP descends on Étienne’s house and search the shed where the firewood is kept. They break open every piece of firewood but find no marijuana. They apologize to Étienne and leave.
Now the phone rings at Étienne’s.
‘Hey Étienne, did the RCMP come to your house?’
‘Yep.’ ‘Did they chop all your firewood?’
‘Yep.’
*The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) [French: Gendarmerie Royaleedu Canada (GRC], literally “Royal Gendarmerie of Canada”, colloquially known as The Mounties. du Canada (GRC], literally “Royal Gendarmerie of Canada”, colloquially known as The Mounties.
5. Stereotypical Canadian
A Canadian is someone who drinks Brazilian coffee from an English teacup and munches a French pastry while sitting on their Danish furniture having just come home from an Italian movie in their German car.
Then pick up their Japanese pen and write to their Member of Parliament to complain about the American take-over of the Canadian publishing business.
Interesting Facts About Canada
- Canada is the 2nd second largest country in the world by land mass. (Russia is number 1, and China is number 3.
- Canadians claim that their capital Ottawa, has the coldest average temperature of any capital city in the world. Muscovites beg to differ.
- Montreal Hosted the 1976 Olympics. Some say they are still paying for it!
- Ottawa is the Capital and not Montreal. Incidentally, it has the coldest average temperature of any capital in the world.
- While the Capital is in Ontario, Canada has 9 other provinces and also 3 territories.
- There are more than 100 national parks and historic sites in Canada.
- A bear killed in Canada’s far north last was the first Grizzly-Polar bear cross ever discovered in the wild.
- Mount Logan in the Yukon is Canada’s tallest mountain at 6,050 meters.
- The longest river is the Mackenzie River flowing 4,240 km through the North West Territory.
